Our 2nd Anniversary

May 26, 2015

Two years married today, and I find myself thinking that I am still a huge work in progress- we both are. Learning how to be married to another person, someone who is equally in need of grace and forgiveness as I am is more than a difficult endeavor. It feels like we often fail, but when we succeed it's an amazing feeling. Knowing that we can get through tough times while leaning on one another, and then share so much joy together in the easy days. To immediately call the other when we need to 'think something through' or when we have some amazing news! That they are the ones who we want to take care of and spend our lives encouraging.

Ephesians 5 often reminds me of how we are to operate as a married unit. Every well-oiled machine, every working unit has parts, and they have different roles to fulfill so that that they work together correctly.

There are many times when I think of how I do not deserve such a kind man who puts my needs above his own, but then I remember that his purpose as a husband is exactly that. He is told to cherish me and nurture my growth. To help me grow not just in our relationship together but more importantly, in my own relationship with Christ. To lead our family in a profitable direction and to provide for its survival. Ephesians 5 tells him that he will find find refuge in me, and that we will band together as one for each other.

25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^a28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 

When I read that, I feel that he does this to great success. I, on the other hand, am told to submit to my husband, as to the Lord. I am not a quiet woman or one without opinions. I don't sit by and nod in agreement at everything my husband says. But (thankfully), I am not told to be a silent member of our marriage. I am told to submit and understand that in any major crossroads, he makes the final decision. To care for our family and the needs of it's members. Not about what to eat for dinner, or choosing what color to paint a room.

I am however, told to honor and submit myself to my husband. As to the Lord. This means that I am am to have a right understanding of how our marriage is to operate and that my husband is the leader of the house. Oftentimes I fail. I am stubborn and like to hold on to what I've already decided in my head. But, thankfully, I'm learning the beauty of following my husband's leadership, especially knowing that he only has our best in mind.

22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

I love this verse, despite the worldly hatred of it. It reminds me that while I am cherished by my husband as though I was the church, I must also complete this interaction by respecting and honoring him as the church should honor and obey Christ. This of course doesn't mean that he has right to be overbearing and do harm- to assume that would be have a false understanding of the beauty of this interaction between husband and wife, Christ and the church.

And... if you really compare the husband's duty to the wife's duty... it seems as though I got the easy end of the deal. I already trust him and know he's prayerfully leading our family. If I were to be selfish and 'choose' which role I would prefer (and luckily I've no say in the matter)- I would choose the submissive wife every time. His role of leading and protecting the family undoubtedly comes with much heartache and importance.

I don't always remember to welcome him home and be a comfort to him, I'm working on it. And more importantly, I'm trying to remember that our marriage is a unit that requires a leader and a follower. To be his 'helper' in this world and to follow his lead. While we promised to do that 2 years ago, I'm making a point to remember this vow and invest myself in this role of mine. To submit, honor and be a refuge for him.

The header of this blog is our pinkie promise, as seen above. I love the symbolism of the pinkie promise, a gesture to remind me that our marriage is not something to take for granted. It's a vow to be there continually for each other, and to honor each other through our words and our actions. This blog may have morphed from a newlywed-reflection type blog to much more, but the pinkie promise still hold true in every aspect of it.

And this year for our 2nd Anniversary, we continued our tradition of  taking a
picture in a place where we had wedding photos taken. 

Check out our 1st Anniversary post here: 12 Things Learned Our First Year of Marriage

                 
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Opened Doors

Whenever one door closes another one opens.

That's how the saying goes, right? We had been trying to get pregnant for about 4 months when we learned that my husband's job was outsourcing his and several other departments in his company to Oregon.

Despite the troubling news and a somewhat uncertain future, we knew that we would keep trying to have a baby (versus putting it on hold). Knowing that it has taken a few years to get to this point, and knowing it could take a few more years of trying before we are blessed with a child. If strings were going to be tight, let them be tight.

God will provide, and something will turn up. When one door closes after all.

Last night I learned that the rest of the company (those who are staying in New York) are moving to a the new office building tomorrow. And my husband is going with them. A door opened, because my husband hustled and promoted himself to other department heads, because God ordained it. And a position was created for him.

Proof that our time isn't best spent fretting over the how, but believing that all will be provided if you're willing to do some work. I thank God that he has provided me with an industrious husband who understands God's providence in his life but also understand that we must be diligent in the opportunities we're given.

So tell me...
Where have you seen doors open for you?
Have you ever been shocked by a seemingly simple fix?


                 
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2014- Year in Review

January
I went into January sad to see 2013 go. I mean, a lot of major life events happened that year. It even ended on a high note, with a second pregnancy. But a few days into January I miscarried again and began the process of figuring out the 'why'. Bloodwork and appointments, plus, we went through the Polar Vortex. Which sounds much more horrible than it was (for me). I worked from home and drank hot chocolate.

The Cross and Miscarriage
A New York City Polar Vortex

February
I decided I wanted to have a garden this summer, so I planted a bunch of vegetable seeds and put them in window boxes to start growing. I took Tom's entire family snow-tubing for the first time, and they had a great time. We got our blood results back, which confirmed that the recurrent miscarriages were auto-immune related. Finally knowing what was going on with me was good, but the hospital insisting we wait 3 months to retest and 'confirm' it all ended up being a big waste of time and source of frustration.

Cabin fever started to sink in, and with a doctor-mandated break from baby mode, we decided to plan a trip to the Pacific Coast. We had a low-key Valentine's Day, and the plants I started from seed in my window started to sprout. Tried out my hand at Intermittent Fasting, and it helped me remember what hungry felt like, and how to stop overeating/eating poorly. 

Why Did I Miscarry? Blood Results 
Snowtubing with the Family

March

Dealt with some lingering effects from the miscarriage, mainly hormonal acne and becoming very emotional at the drop of a hat. After being asked 'what are you giving up for Lent?" too many times, I wrote about why I don't 'do' Lent. And I continued dreaming about our upcoming vacation.

Pathetic Woman That I Am 

I Don't do Lent.

Pacific Coast Dreaming

April

Participated in (and completed!) the A-Z Challenge this month. Created some fun posts like April Fools and Farina. I bragged about my husband's renewed love of biking in Tour de Tom, and reminisced about when I moved to NYC for a boy I barely knew. Posted all my Candid Camera- NYC Subway photos in a post and I wrote about some serious topics as well, including National Infertility Awareness Week and Easter. I loved writing for this challenge, and it really helped me fall in love with blogging and discover why I do love to write online like this.

April Fools

Candid Camera- NYC Subway

Farina

Goals in Blogging

Moving to NYC... for a boy

Preparing Your Heart for Easter

Tour de Tom

Unable. National Infertility Awareness Week

May

The first week of May, we were gone! Flew to Los Angeles, where we enjoyed the great weather, good food and beautiful areas of the city. We hiked to the Hollywood sign, drove to the Santa Monica pier went to a Angels baseball game. We then boarded our cruise ship, which made stops in San Francisco (Muir Woods, Cablecars and the sourdough factory), Victoria (beautiful weather and scenery) and dropped us off in Vancouver. Tom and I rented bikes and we rode around Stanley Park. The next day we took Amtrak to Seattle, where 3 days turned into 5 because all of the flights into the northeast were cancelled. We spent those days using up our City Pass, drinking coffee and visiting the cool neighborhoods in Seattle.

After nearly 2 weeks, returning to our little apartment felt amazing (and like we lived in a mansion). We were home for about 2 weeks before we packed up Tom's entire family and took them to Niagara Falls and then to visit my parents in Pennsylvania. Since it was officially our first anniversary, and we were at the place where we got married, we took some "one year later" photos. I recapped our wedding (since I wasn't blogging back then) and finished up the series with a bunch of things Took and I have learned in our first year married.

Pacific Coastal Vacation

Merging Two Families
Anniversary Week. First Look, and a narration of events.
Anniversary Week. Ceremony, Vows and a face-full of Lavender
Anniversary Week. Our Receiving Mob, and an Ode to our Guests.
Anniversary Week. Sunset Photos and Family Portraits
Anniversary Week. Toasts, Cake and a Dance-off
12 Things Learned Our First Year of Marriage

June

This month, as I sat in a room with my fellow jurors for a week (without internet access- what a welcome home party that was) I got a little 'vacation-sick'. This was the month I delved further into some of the things we did, and I brag about my husband some more in the San Francisco post. I married a shoulda-been tour guide, lucky me :)

I planted my garden. I was a complete flop, and I never mentioned it on here after some initial photos, but my dreams were dashed. (dashed?) But I finally (after years of obsessing) made homemade bread! And, in what I will call my 'jury duty' series, I got introspective and wrote the selfie paradox, about my need to relinquish control and learning how to be more outgoing.

Visiting the Redwoods at Muir Woods, California
San Francisco- Fisherman's Wharf and Cablecar Tour
Oh Canada! Bicycling in Vancouver
Seattle & Seattle CityPass Review… Was It Worth It?

How to Make Homemade Bread

Before and After the Selfie

Not my Will, But Yours

Cultivating Hospitality in Myself

July

Over the July 4th weekend, we took a roadtrip to the Creation Museum (crossing 5 states and back) in just 3 days. Let me just say that Google's 10 hour driving estimate was really 15 hours when you factor in holiday traffic and the needs of 7 different bladders. I told Tom we are never to do that again. But, it was a great trip :)

Also, 1 year after finding out that we were pregnant, 2 miscarriages and jumping through lots of medical hoops.... we find out we can get pregnant at any time! New doctor, less messing around. We booked a beach vacation for November, and I hit my 1 Year Anniversary blogging :)

Roadtrip to Creation Museum

And one year later..... I'm Hitting Reset
We can get pregnant! (well, duh)

1 Year Blogiversary

August

I worked on my domesticity a bit this month, and improved upon my homemade bread recipe. I thought back 4 years to the time Tom and I thought a good date would be to visit a 'ghost' town. I talked about how much we spent on medical expenses this year, just trying to maintain a baby (and we keep in mind that we got off so easy, compared to others). And, since I have complained about the NYC subway enough times this past year, I made a nice post highlighting some things I would love to encounter when commuting.

Easy Cinnamon Raisin Bread
Pillsbury Ham and Cheese Breakfast Rolls

That Time When... We Went to Centralia (Silent Hill)

The Unexpected Costs

5 NYC Subway Experiences That Don't Suck.

September

Finally, our first "2nd Annual" arrived, and we returned to Fishkill farms with the entire NYC family for some apple picking and fall festivities. Tom grew up going to Puerto Rico every year, so this isn't that 'new' of an idea to him. But I never grew up having family vacations, so I love the idea of having some family trips that become an annual thing (we are planning on February being our 2nd annual snow-tubing trip for that same reason).

Tom participated in the NYC Century bike tour, which is a 100 mile bike ride that led him all around the 5 boroughs. And, I brag. You know I can't get past how awesome his biking story has been this year. I go a little crazy with welcoming autumn into our house, and not only vow to make all sorts of fall dishes, but I decorate with leaves and candles the first chance I get. Making a home feel like home, not much else tops that for me.

I wrote the required (right?) Where Were You post, about September 11th. And, I write about what Tom's family saw that day, being that they lived here for it.Oh and I aged another year, and decided I should quit counting birthdays at 28.

2nd Annual Apple-Picking Weekend

Tom and the NYC Century Bike Tour

Summer is so last season
10 Ways to Get Your Autumn Gourd On

Easy $12 Fall Wreath

Where Were You?
28 (is the new 29)

October

This month I attempted to participate in 'Blogtober', where you write on set prompts, every day. I failed on the first weekend, because I simply do not write on the weekends. I spend all my time relaxing, and avoiding the computer if possible. But, the posts that I did get out were interesting, and like the A-Z Challenge in April, I am glad I did it. It allowed me to write some of my favorite posts, including...

Release the Kraken!
When I grow up, I want to be a...
The Most Dysfunctional Vacation. Ever.
Baby Loss Awareness Week
Why We Don't Share Chores

November

Started 'trying' to conceive this month, after a self-appointed hiatus to let my body return to normal after a tumultuous beginning of 2014. Finally, our trip to Treasure Island/ St. Petersburg arrived, but it came during a cold spell so 2014 will be our first beach-less year (although we did try, but only could manage up to our knees. Cold!). The temperature was about 15 degrees cooler than we would've liked but we filled the days with alligators, manatees and a freezing trip to a Disney water park (which was great because there weren't any lines). Evenings we spent going on dates and not asking ' how was work', visiting different restaurants and the movies. The last day was beautiful, but the water was still freezing. We hung out by the pool, fell asleep in the warm sun and managed to get a tan. Good vacation.

This month I also wrote about how life takes you places you never expected to go, and revealed that I have yet to change my last name, and that this blog is a fraud (Gasp!). I had a suspicion that I was pregnant towards the end of the month, and when we were visiting my mother for Thanksgiving, I had a rough period that made me cry 'early miscarriage'....

Escape to Treasure Island
More Clearly Myself
I'm a fraud. This blog is a fraud.

December
... so I went to the doctor to determine if I did miscarry, or if I overreacted. Bloodwork confirmed that I overreacted. I was embarrassed, but relieved that we didn't have to wait another few months to try again. Picked up our first Christmas tree, named it George, and spent many nights telling Dora to leave him alone. She's going to be heartbroken when he's gone, I think it brings out her primal inner cat, living in the wilds of our living room. 

In typical Hispanic style, Christmas Eve was the big dinner with family and gifts, and reflecting on why Christ came that day (and why we celebrate). Christmas Day wasn't much more than leftovers and maybe a movie. New Years Eve will be with family as well, ringing in 2015 with the people who've been with us through the past year's trails and triumphs. 

Prepare Yourself for Christmas 
What do you adore? 
Christmas- The Who, What, Where and Why

And tomorrow, on New Years Eve, we are going to do exactly what we did last year (play more dominoes, watch the ball drop and enjoy time with family).

Years Past: 

2013

2013 held a lot of life changes, and 2014 felt like it was all about growth. I can't wait to see you next year and continue figuring out life, marriage, NYC and (hopefully) motherhood brings in 2015! Happy New Years! 

I'm a fraud. This blog is a fraud.

This morning, I was greeted with a nice reminder of things to come:

In three days, we're flying down to Tampa to track down summer for one last hurrah. Back in June (as soon as we returned from the West Coast) Tom booked this trip and achieved genius status because he somehow knew we'd need it. It's cold up here, and in precisely three days, I will be past my current 'oh joy, its's fall!" mindset and move into the next phase of "where's all the heat??!". 

So, time to pack, clean off my desk at work, and prepare to go on vacation. In addition to preparing all my name change documents. Yes, you read correct. To be perfectly honest here, I'll have been married 1.5 years this month and haven't yet changed my name. This blog, The Newest Vazquez's is a fraud! 

I never had any intention of keeping my last name (and was/am excited to change). But, let me play the blame game here. We had to track down the pastor who married us to get a document back for our first two months of marriage, and then in July we promptly put the envelope of documents in Tom's dresser, never to be seen again. Until September 29th, when we finally found it. October 1st, with all my info filled out on the change of address forms, the government 'shuts down'. And then Tom booked our Coastal vacation tickets. And then one week after returning, he books tickets to Tampa for this weekend. And as long as there are airline tickets in my maiden name, we can't go anywhere. He seems to have this need to always have a vacation booked. He's sick, in the best kind of way. Don't get me wrong, it's a good problem to have, but I forbid him from going near Priceline or Tickets.com until December so I get a chance to change my name. I should consider adding a site blocker to his computer, just to make sure he doesn't sneak back on, book another trip and get his 'fix'. 

So, tell me...
Anyone out there do this name change thing? Any suggestions would be helpful!
Does your husband have an interesting addiction, like planning trips?

More Clearly Myself

We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.

Lynn Hall

Do you ever find yourself living life and suddenly realize how much you've changed from your "previous self"? It happens regularly for me, often spurred on by the most commonplace things.

I asked the waitress to change the station playing Nicky Minaj's most recent song (yup, that one) because it was foul. We were at a sushi restaurant. Whatever happened to the classics? Windchimes by the River and Pan Flute guys, on repeat? Bring those back please. Wanting something and finding nothing wrong in asking for it- that's not something I would've expected to see from my previous self. I would've just kept quiet.

When someone asks me for directions in a neighborhood I'm only passing through myself... and I give them directions like I live there. I realize that I must look like a local, since they chose to ask me out of all the people to walk by them in the past two minutes. I remember I gave my first directions out when I lived here for only a month (and barely knew how to get home myself). I called Tom all excited, and asked if I was a New Yorker yet. I think he said not yet.

Being told by my family or friends from anywhere other than NYC that I walk so fast (or talk too fast, or am so busy, etc). It's completely true, I rarely am able to find a moment of calm, everything here is so hurried. Even at home, in complete silence, the factory outside has a beeping forklift backing up, cars honking, radiator hissing and banging. At 3 am, you can still hear the train rumbling by a block away. Some of my favorite memories of the year working in the country before moving here involve a cup of coffee on the back porch, relaxing as the sun rose. 

It's still a shock to me whenever we call a cab or interact with anyone who is Mexican/Puerto Rican/ Dominican (etc) and they assume I can speak or understand Spanish. I know that this is because I no longer have that "I have no idea what is being said around me" look on my face and oftentimes laugh along because I do have a decent idea what the topic is. At least I fit in, and will hopefully have some more Spanish under my belt before we return to Puerto Rico this summer.

I look around my home and realize that I never really was the type to dream about my future husband, kids, home and domesticity. But I kind of am rocking the whole wife thing. This morning we were talking about life insurance and last night want on a date to come home and do dishes. I woke at 6am(!?!) and made breakfast. My house is usually clean and stocked, and I wasn't an especially tidy or organized person up until I moved out on my own.

But. why? These all add up to a substantially different person from who I was even 5 years ago.

Growing up I wasn't really taught to be social or confident. To be fair, there wasn't another child around for miles around, so a lot of my childhood was spent with adults or playing outdoors. In grade school, little kids can get along with everyone, for a while. But when I reached 5th & 6th grade, AKA the awkward years, I suddenly found out that I didn't know how to talk to people. In the years when subgroups were formed, I fit nowhere. I wasn't into sports, my studies, fashion or really exceptional in any way. I was just quiet. Which led to an angsty teenager that then faded into a shy "nice enough" college student that didn't have much self esteem.

How things have changed. I'm reminded of this when I run into someone I haven't seen since college, high school, and especially grade school. When someone says 'Wow- you've changed so much" I realize that I just grew up. Life happens, and while I'm sure I would be different had I lived on a farm or in a suburb, it would've happened eventually. Life's trials and triumphs- struggling to make ends meet, learning how to live with roommates (and then a husband), then making it through two pregnancies that ended earlier than they should've. Learning how to be married and budget and plan and pray- all of it changed me. And while changing usually happens gradually, this year I can visibly see the changes in myself.

So tell me...

Are you different than you were 5 years ago?
What would be the biggest difference?

Oh Canada! Bicycling in Vancouver

When I was around 10, I decided to bike down the dirt hill behind our farm. I ran onto a gravel patch, freaked out, flew over the handlebars and ended up face-first on the gravel before stopping.

Cultivating Hospitality in Myself

I was never the one to invite people over, or be the hostess. Never the outgoing type or the leader. And that’s fine as long as you have someone who does these things (keeps you connected) but I’m not that lucky.

So, there comes a point where you realize you haven’t seen your friends in a few months (or a in some cases an entire year) that you make the commitment to change that. And since all our childhood or college friendships were developed at a bar or houseparty, we’re really having trouble organizing events that don’t revolve around alcohol. The invites have slowed, but that’s because the events they tend to go to are all at bars, and we’ve opted out enough times to get the point across.

So we’ve started throwing dinner parties, game nights, paintball getaways or inviting others to go do things like visit a museum or park. This summer Tom and I plan on going camping, or at least make it back to Pennsylvania and have a mini-roadtrip with anyone who's interested. And some of our friends are into those things (or understand that there is a value to keeping up with each other) and come along as often as possible. But they tend to be same ones who come time and again. Others are a bit pickier about coming along, or can’t imagine events like camping without it having a focus on drinking. It can be a hard line to draw in the sand, but luckily we’re seeing them say yes more and more. Which is great, because while they are all mostly single and living the high life, they also know that won’t last forever and when It’s time to slow down we’ll be there waiting for them.

And, when the rest of our friends mention heading to a bar after our dinner party or the museum (it almost always happens) we can then say our goodbyes.

Anyone out there have this problem or situation?
Anyone trying to cultivate friendships with the friends still in the party atmosphere, sans alcohol?
Any tips?

12 Things Learned Our First Year of Marriage

Good Morning! Today is officially our first anniversary, and while this past week I've been posting photos and recaps from the wedding day today is all about what we've learned this past year.

We both knew that living together (especially since we hadn't lived together before we got married) would be a transition. We were told that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and although that's now highly contested (since many live together before marriage, it's not as applicable) it definitely applied to us.

I grew up with lots of space and solitude to do with as I pleased, while Tom lived in close quarters with his family his whole life. I live minimally, and Tom has all his childhood memories in boxes. I am stubborn, and he is passionate. And while living together is hard that first year, it is also amazing. We've learned about forgiveness and grace and also prayer. And we've learned a few other things.

What has Tom Learned?

1. Genesis 2:18 couldn't be more true. One year in, God truly made an appropriate help meet for man.
2. Breakfast! The most important meal of the day takes on a whole new meaning when prepared with love. Highlight of the day is when Farin makes silver dollar pancakes and plates them in the form of a smiley face.
3. Bickering: I'm a sinner, married to a sinner. Arguments and disagreements are bound to happen between any couple but the my main take away is make up quickly.
4. Monogamy: God's full purposes of marriage rites are a mystery according to scripture but a blessing nonetheless. It is something to be fully cherished.
5. Be proactive: Farin and I imagined a marriage full of dates and couples activities. Life gets in the way and you quickly find yourself in a routine. Be purposeful and deliberate about date nights and stick to em.
6. Remain close and intimate with each other. Makes being together at all times a much nicer experience.

Men. So concise with their words. You know I won't be, so here goes.

What have I Learned?

1. Forgiving each other is hard! But necessary. I can be the queen of holding grudges, and I also clam up when upset. That makes a recipe for disaster as Tom has no clue what I'm thinking. But when I remember that we are told to forgive and move on, things are left behind. God gave us grace, and we should extend that to other- especially the ones we live with!
2. Do your own chores. We avoided sharing chores, since every person has their own 'way' that is best. I haven't done laundry in 1 year, and he hasn't had to yell at me for shrinking his shirts. Or turning them pink. Also, I do the dishes since I am a bit obsessive over them being completely clean. No more spots or complaining to him that he does have to actually wash (and not just rinse) the colander or the pot lid. 
3. Greet each other warmly and always kiss goodnight. Tom knew I was a stickler for these things (he even wrote them into his vows)- so it's not something we've had to 'work' on. But on the nights when you're upset over one thing or another, always kiss and say goodnight. This extends to sleeping together. The only times we sleep apart aren't because of arguments, but because either he's snoring or I'm sick and coughing nonstop. Luckily, that hardly happens, just around flu season :-)
4. Do each other favors. Bring each other breakfast or coffee in bed, or offer to bring their returns to the store. It's nice to know they think about how to serve you, and it feels good to do them favors in return.
5. Listen to and encourage each other. Make sure you remember that they probably have a whole other set of struggles and stresses at work, home or school and might not have a dumping ground. Provide that, a place to get it out. Offer an ear and help them unwind.
6. Make time together, and have some shared interests. I hate biking and would never agree to bike anywhere except it meant a lot to Tom to bike in Canada (and we biking in traffic). And while Tom might not follow any blogs (mine or others) he's always there to offer a suggestion if feedback on a post.

That's about it! Hope everyone is having wonderful Memorial Day weekend and return to work on Tuesday.

What have your learned your first year of marriage, or this past year?

Anniversary Week. Toasts, Cake and a Dance-off

We skipped over some of the more traditional wedding aspects (no garters or bouquets or receiving lines. But we wanted to hear from our closest confidants. What they thought about us, about our union, and just what they thought in general.

And while I don't have those transcripts or a video, I remember it being more of a roast than a toast.

From the best man telling us to 'make lots of babies' (which I'll admit, was a little unexpected) all the way over to what he originally thought when Tom brought me in from Pennsylvania and wondering if I'd fit in.

My maid of honor went in another direction entirely, and started exposing all our secret teenage antics. For our friends, my family and new family to hear. And the three nearby houses to hear, considering we were using a loudspeaker.

I was a well-behaved kid in an overall sense. But I guess I should have listened to her concerns about writing a speech and given more detailed instruction than 'oh, you'll think of something'.

Anniversary Week. Sunset Photos and Family Portraits

Everyone tells you to savor that bite of cake, because that will be the only thing you eat at your wedding.

They were right, because as soon as we were able to get some food on our plates we were pulled away for individual and family photos...

Then the sun decided to steal the show...

Anniversary Week. Our Receiving Mob, and an Ode to our Guests.

After recovering from pelted with lavender, we made our way to the group of people who were waiting to attack.....

Anniversary Week. Ceremony, Vows and a face-full of Lavender

Once all the key people were where they needed to be, the procession was able to start.
First were my beautiful bridesmaids.

And our very professional ring bearer

And my three flowergirls, who were a little worried about littering. Initially.

Anniversary Week. First Look, and a narration of events.

Our first anniversary is in one week, and since we've already celebrated it on our vacation, we're going on a mini-roadtrip with the in-laws to visit Niagara Falls and see my parents in Pennsylvania.

But..... since I wasn't blogging a year ago, I thought it would be an opportune time to show off what an awesome day May 26, 2013 was.

In three parts. Because I don't want my computer to die.

First Look and Getting Ready

Tom always waits for me at the public library, in a suit and looking spiffy. And appearing to be enjoying his ring-less finger.

Yeah... like you really thought I wouldn't show up.

Pacific Coastal Vacation

Good food, beautiful weather. Time to disconnect from work and reconnect with each other. Seeing places together for the first time. Attempting to take at least one good photo together. Remembering that we were celebrating our first anniversary and not just taking a vacation. Remembering to focus on us and trying to keep a leisurely (non-New Yorker) pace.

We just returned from a 12 day vacation, visiting Los Angeles, San Francisco, Victoria BC, Vancouver BC, and Seattle. Tom planned an amazing trip, and I'm convinced he should do customized itineraries because he has such a knack (outdated word?) for it. And, even though our flight was delayed, it was actually a blessing in disguise. I was able to spent Mothers Day with only Tom, and while the world was celebrating babies we were celebrating our first anniversary.

I still need to sort, crop and rotate photos, but plan on uploading them soon.

I also plan on covering:

• How to get to Muir Woods, and was it really worth it? (The answer is yes!)
• How Tom got me to bike with him around Vancouver.
• Seattle, and was buying a Seattle CityPass worth it? Review
• Our Self-Guided Cablecar/Streetcar Tour around San Francisco

Some snapshots:

yes·ter·year

yes·ter·year

ˈyestərˌyir/

noun

literary

1.   

   last year or the recent past, especially as nostalgically recalled.

   "return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear"

~~~~~

Tom and I have hit our 11 month anniversary on the 26th, and I've been thinking about some type of wedding week 'recap' when we get closer to the 1 year point next month. Maybe a 'preshow' blooper real (with what went wrong) and ending with the wedding day (and what went right).

Today though, I'm recapping all the preparations and projects that were documented. I was kind of sad the other day to realize that I deleted all the my diy invitation templates and other projects, since I know people would love that sort of thing. Anywhoo.... 

Here goes!

November:
     Trip to pick out my wedding dress and obviously my bridesmaids were a little excited!

Tour de Tom

This post is dedicated to Tom, and his renewed love affair with biking. When we met, he was biking regularly (having done so since he was in highschool). He biked every year in the Century Tour, Tour de Cure, and the Five Boro Bike Tour. When we started dating, things started slipping by the wayside, and he biked less and less. 

But that's all changed. He has been biking to work and home for 2 months, instead of buying his monthly Metrocard. He joined a 'Biggest Loser' type of challenge with his company, and last night he hit his personal goal of shedding 30 lbs. He's hoping he can win the challenge, but even if he doesn't it has been well worth entering since the incentive has reawakened his love of biking. He has so much energy and sleeps better, and he keeps saying how he feels healthier. 

Today marks his 50th ride in to work, and I couldn't be more proud of him.

Since February 25th....  

   Ridden 556 miles (roughly NYC to Cleveland)

   Been on his bike for 50 hours.

   He's burned 51,000 calories

Moving to NYC... for a boy

This is not just a story about how I moved on a whim to NYC to be with my long distance boyfriend (of only 10 months). This is a thank you to my mother, and Tom's parents.

Girl Meets Boy

I left the comfort of my mothers home in rural Pennsylvania to be with a boy in the big city. I had graduated from college in May 2009, and started dating Tom in October. In January he moved back to NYC because of school and family issues, and we dated long distance for 7 months.

Dating Long Distance

There was rarely a point that 2 weeks would pass without my driving to NYC for at least 1 day, or him taking the bus from Port Authority to come visit me for a week. Rinse and repeat for 7 months. There were speeding tickets, massive traffic jams, and I would travel hours to NYC just to spend less than a day with Tom before returning home.

On July 30th, there was a traffic accident/pileup that turned my reasonable 4 hour drive to one that took over 7 hours to get home. I was surrounded on all sides by tractor trailers, nearly running out of gas and probably driving high off the fumes. This photo was taken that day, the day I decided to move.

Pathetic Woman That I Am

It's about that time..... to put it bluntly it's shark week.

And I've turned into the most hormonally unbalanced woman.

In an email to Tom:

Valentines Day

This year was our first married Valentines, and it was remarkably similar to our first dating Valentines (not counting long-distance). Let's recap, because why not?

2011
Our first Valentines was when I had been living in New York City for about 6 months, and we had no expendable cash. I decided to buy some red candles and bake sugar cookies. I do remember that I nearly wiped out my checking account to buy the baking sheet, rolling pin and red food dye to make them. (I do not miss those 'trying to make it in NYC on a shoestring' days.)

Homemade Apple Pie

"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie." David Mamet 

These past few days have been rough. Tom and I arguing and miscommunicating everything. It feels like our patience with everyone we work with, family and friends and personal stress was running us both pretty thin. And then we bring it home and dump all our stress on each other. Which isn't healthy.

So last night we baked a pie. From scratch. And all was good. This leads me to think that pie is just such a warm, happy dessert which evokes good memories, that people can't be stressed when there's pie involved.