"National Infertility Awareness Week" runs from April 20th- April 26th.
I was interviewed for Beauty and the Bump's "Resolve to Know" campaign. Read my interview here: http://www.beautyandthebumpnyc.com/2014/04/resolve-to-know-more-farin-shares-her.html
Recently, in talking with others about what makes a woman infertile, it's not surprising that the answer is (almost) always "they can't get pregnant". I also used to think of infertility as a term earned by those who couldn't conceive.
Yes, I said earned. We all want to have a group. Someone or some group of people to identify with. If you're infertile, there is a plethora of blogs dedicated to the discovery of and the infertility treatments undergone.
If you can conceive, but keep miscarrying, there is no group. No camaraderie or support. And oftentimes there are the accusations that you are loosing your babies because you're doing something wrong.
When you explain your situation, you have to really explain it, versus just saying "we're dealing with infertility". People know what infertility is. And while it's not a pleasant topic, it's far easier to have a word do all the explaining for you. Without the word infertility, people ask what happened, and you basically have to rehash why you keep miscarrying your babies.
They usually ask "well why is that?" because no one talks about miscarriages. And since it is such a confusing topic, you get two main responses. "Are you sure you're not overreacting?" and "I bet it's because you had coffee that day we went shopping". Recurrent or otherwise, people act as though there is shame in it. You then explain how your body either keeps rejecting the baby or isn't a healthy environment. It's a little discouraging to keep repeating the same information. To family. And friends. And nosey acquaintances.
If you are out there suffering through infertility, regardless of the circumstances, feel free to connect below in the comments. Also, visit Kim's blog at www.beautyandthebumpnyc.com to participate in her poll about infertility.
This post was brought to you by the A-Z Challenge, and the letter:
Love your post! You're right, it is harder for people to understand you're dealing with infertility when you're able to get pregnant. I'm going through the same thing right now. I can get pregnant, but I miscarry. It's a hard, long road. We'll get though it
ReplyDeleteYou're right, we all will get through. But it is nice to have people to identify with, whatever and however you go about 'getting through it'.
DeleteThanks for this. <3 I get it.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome :)
DeleteI have many friends that struggle with infertility. It can be difficult because I don't want to have children, but they do, we are looking at things from different views. That being said, learning what they are going through, so that I can learn how to respond or how to be there for them is so important. I understand that there is pain, but if it is not talked about then there is always a line that no one knows where it is of being able to cross or not. I pray for comfort to those that struggle and peace to those that don't understand, that we can all join together and not be separate.
ReplyDeleteThat it! It's treated as taboo, which doesn't help matters since it creates a situation no one will talk through. Thanks for saying that!
DeleteWhat a great thing to post about. There's this stigma attached to miscarrying and I'm not sure why. It really must feel so isolating.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely can be, but that's why blogging about it helps build a sort of community.
DeleteGood post to explain the difference in the terms and also how it can make some feel. I couldn't believe someone would tell a woman that she did something wrong (like drink coffee) to cause a miscarriage! I simply cannot fathom someone saying that to you, or any woman, and I'm sorry if they did.
ReplyDelete