Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Moving to NYC... for a boy

This is not just a story about how I moved on a whim to NYC to be with my long distance boyfriend (of only 10 months). This is a thank you to my mother, and Tom's parents.

Girl Meets Boy
I left the comfort of my mothers home in rural Pennsylvania to be with a boy in the big city. I had graduated from college in May 2009, and started dating Tom in October. In January he moved back to NYC because of school and family issues, and we dated long distance for 7 months.

Dating Long Distance
There was rarely a point that 2 weeks would pass without my driving to NYC for at least 1 day, or him taking the bus from Port Authority to come visit me for a week. Rinse and repeat for 7 months. There were speeding tickets, massive traffic jams, and I would travel hours to NYC just to spend less than a day with Tom before returning home.

On July 30th, there was a traffic accident/pileup that turned my reasonable 4 hour drive to one that took over 7 hours to get home. I was surrounded on all sides by tractor trailers, nearly running out of gas and probably driving high off the fumes. This photo was taken that day, the day I decided to move.

Wait, what?
I decided to move to NYC. I am, to this day, surprised too that there was no conflict or worry on my part. I remember just making the conclusion that it was time to move to NYC. The next day when I told Tom my intentions over the phone, he simply replied "Okay. What day should I get the bus tickets for?" He cleared the decision with his parents, who said I could stay for a bit while I look for an apartment and a job.

Yes. I came to NYC without any prospects. And both my mother and Tom's parent's, although I'm sure they expected me to fall flat on my face, supported the decision. I had just left my lucrative job at Wendy's (yep, I sure looked like a keeper), and I told everyone who asked why I was moving that "I wanted to move somewhere that I could use my degree, and not be forced to take a job in fast food". I didn't want to confess that I was moving for a boy, and one I had only been dating for 10 months.

Everything was done by Facebook in 2010.
Selling Everything
I put my beloved car (Bessie) on Craigslist, advertised her on Facebook and made a big neon sign for the front window. 

I organized a massive garage sale for the week before I moved, and the only big ticket item was the car. I sold all my other belongings (old china, shoes, clothing, book collections) without any worried. Apparently, my mother knew how little would come from everything if the car didn't sell, so she added 2 standalone freezers, a treadmill, furniture, and spare kitchen appliances. 

And, a pretty sweet fact is that the place where I sold everything is where we had our first dance.

Managing to sell my car on August 11th, and having earned enough for a month's rent and a deposit, I considered the sale a success. On August 14th, my mother drove me and Tom (who had come to escort me) to the Greyhound bus depot. 

It was definitely something that would not have been possible without our loving parents. My mother, for supporting and being there despite what she must have thought to be a crazy decision. And Tom's parents- for allowing me to crash on their couch for 2 weeks and for providing dinner when I was strapped for cash and didn't have a proper kitchen in my "apartment".

So... That's my crazy story.

Did you move for love?
Was is a success, and if so, where do you live?

This post was brought to you by the A-Z Challenge, and the letter:


  1. A beautiful post. Lots of luck with Life dear Farin and co
    Marie at http://myeverydaypersonal.blogspot.be/

  2. Farin,

    It took me a while, but I had not forgot :)
    Oh my, our stories sound a lot alike....hahaha

    My story, I lived in a small town on the Gulf, in Fl.
    We tried to see each other pretty regularly.
    We lived 3 hours apart. So, we would start out, after work on Saturday.
    I think I told you about my one incident of falling asleep at the wheel, but quickly alerting myself.
    Stay overnite, me at his mom's, then travel back home Sunday morning.
    I had 2 jobs and was a single parent to one boy.
    I worked at a fast-food place called `RAX`, I don't think they are around anymore.
    Plus, after I got off work at `Rax` I worked at a daycare, Mon-Fri til closing and I opened on Saturday's. Yes, this daycare was open Mon-Fri 6a.m. - 11:00p.m.. Half day Saturdays.
    After 3 years of this, we were married and I moved to his big town of Tampa.
    It really amazing we spent enough time together to decide to get married.
    Because, actually, by the time we saw each other we were exhausted.
    Oh yes, I understand about driving on fumes :)

    We were married in my landlord's yard, and I moved to Tampa with a husband, son and no job.
    My hubby was a boat builder at that time, and that company was actually deciding to close its doors.
    Which they did! A year after we were married. Another story, for another time :)

    He moved out of his mom's house, and we rented all we could afford.
    The neighborhood had a lot to be desired :(
    Once, a stranger walked up to our door and tried to get our son to go with her :(
    Said she wanted him to help her find her cat...UGH

    Well, I am so glad to be living where we are now :)

    1. It's amazing where we go and what we did (looking in retrospect) that seemed so regular at the time. If my kid ever wanted to sell everything and move to a city because of a boy, I'd freak out. My mother was definitely a trooper!


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