Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Until 2016

Life has been busy, hard, and incredibly uncomfortable lately.
I've wanted to do nothing but sleep lately, and blogging has not been on my to-do list in a long time. It breaks my heart to stop partway through the pregnancy updates, and while I love to write on here, I've been so overrun with life that I feel that I need to take a break until the new year.

I'm not sure when in 2016 I'll be writing on here again, but when I return I'll be back with more updates about being a new mom, travel in NYC (... and possibly a new direction for the blog) and whatever else comes to my sleep-deprived mind in the still of the night.

See you in 2016!

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Thursday, November 5, 2015

32 weeks

How far along:
32 weeks

Gender: 
Baby Boy!

What's the protocol:
Asking others for their seat. I've yet to purchase an 'over the top' I'M PREGNANT shirt (you know, the ones that have 'baby on board' among other sayings).... but I am wondering what I can do so that I get a seat on the train. 

People are mostly kind when they  notice, but if there are delays where the train is stalled underground, no one will make eye contact or acknowledge that there's an obviously pregnant woman glaring at them, standing 2 feet in front of their face. It's as though the world is ending and they can't imagine giving up their last cup of water. Or their flint. Or their seat. 

Sleep: 
Great. It seems that it alternates ever other week between sound sleep or good sleep with insane dreams. This week I've been able to sleep well, except for when I try to get out of bed or rotate from one side to another. Some serious hip pain, mainly when I'm sleeping or are waking from being on my (mainly) left side to roll onto my back. 

Best moment this week: 
Having things taken away from me! My work load and responsibilities are being divvied out to all my coworkers (as I am still waiting on my replacement to be hired. Tom has also been incredibly helpful in bringing things up the stairs, offering his hand when I get up from sitting and walking at my pace (I guess saying 'slow down' all the time finally stuck!). And, while he's been really interested in belly movements, different things that have been going on with the pregnancy, I think he's getting used to the idea that a baby will be coming soon and that it's feeling more real for him.

Worst moment this week:
I'm not sure what is going on with my hips, but it feels like they are dislodged from where they are meant to be. Which, my doc said was normal and unfortunate. I equated it to the jaws of life and how a snake unhinges his mouth to eat the antelope. But, in reverse. I guess he didn't expect to hear it like that, so I'm glad I made him laugh.

Miss anything: 
Long walks! This week has been pretty beautiful and going back up into the 70s.... which makes me want to just walk around. But of course, I know that might start out well but 15 minutes into it I'd be tired and hurting. Since commuting and stairs have brought on some breathlessness and occasionally they trigger some Braxton Hicks contractions, I'll just have to wait until spring for nice walks I suppose. At least I'll have company :)

Movement: 
At my 32nd week appointment with my doc, he was poking my belly and said 'I don't feel the head'. Which sounded horrifying, but I realized he meant that the baby hasn't relocated to the head-down position and moved towards the exit just yet. Then, 2 days later, I swear he flipped around twice, both times cramming his head as far towards the exit as possible. And then, I believe, he decided that it wasn't as cozy as his normal spot on my left and came back up. But, for the few minutes he was relocated down there, I could actually feel the curve of his head. It was insane and I can't imagine walking around with him being flipped head down. Not that I want to wait until the last minute for him to engage he feels much more comfortable where he is, wedged under my ribs. Which I should mention is not incredibly comfy either.

Cravings: 
Cinnamon. I've been putting it in anything that makes sense, which is great because it helps those with diabetes (gestational and I'm assuming otherwise as well) keep their number low. 

Medicine:
Lovenox injections nightly at 0.40mL, ferrous sulfate (iron pills for anemia) at 325mg 3x daily.... and morning prenatal vitamins.

I keep forgetting about the iron pills.  Then last week I read about why they were so important (especially during delivery-- at this point they are not really impacting my day to day- which is why I keep treating them as though they aren't as important as the Lovenox (which, being honest- they really aren't). But, if I have the low iron count and am anemic at the time of delivery, that's a big risk for me and I'd rather have as few complications or concerns as possible. 

Queasy or sick: 
No appetite whatsoever. Tom has noticed that I force down dinners and most meals when around him, and hears me when I say I need a snack an hour later. I explain that my stomach fills quickly, and goes through food just as fast. So, he's insisted that whenever we're near a store we stock up on some healthy snacks- so I don't resort to peanut butter from the jar or a can of whatever is left in our cupboard (canned peaches or pears can only do so much).

Looking forward to: 
Signing up for childbirth classes and the breastfeeding course a the hospital. I'm excited to learn about what will happen when Daniel makes his great escape, and how to feed/bond with him after that.




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Friday, October 23, 2015

30 weeks

How far along:
30 weeks

Gender: 
Baby Boy!

What's the protocol:
Baby showers in general. We had two amazing baby showers (at 29 weeks and 30 weeks) and both were Amazing. So much love and support and generosity- and seeing everyone show up made us both feel like we had so many people to lean on and gather encouragement. But, before the thank you notes make their way out I've heard from those who weren't invited either because it was understood they couldn't come because of distance or busyness- but upset they didn't get an invite or the link to our registry.

I never thought I would have to make invites for my own baby shower, and send them to someone as a gesture. Neither baby showers had actual invites, but I guess I understand why people are worried about being left behind. Anyway, if you ever don't get invited to a baby shower, remember to not call the mother to be when she's already having an emotional day and telling her how your feelings were hurt. 
Sleep: 
Vivid dreams are back. This week I've dreamt that I:

----Had the baby on a commuter train, it was completely painless and was a girl. I was up and walking around with her, and thought "I should be in pain. This is not my baby".
What does it mean?!?I'm can't believe that I actually have a baby inside of me that will be out in approx. 2 months. My baby. Mine (and Toms too).

----Had the baby at a resort, again it was a girl, and while lounging by the pool was having trouble breastfeeding. I remember wondering why I had the wrong baby and why I was at a resort after giving birth.
What does it mean?!?Anxiety over breastfeeding, and not knowing anything more than Google can tell.

----I went to work and was told by my boss that I needed to count a huge bag of M&Ms on my train ride home. But, because I shouldn't count the M&Ms too much (since they were not for me!) I could only spend one second counting each M&M.

What does it mean?!? Diagnosed with GD (gestational diabetes) last week means that I've been missing my sweets-- but M&Ms? Should've been counting Skittles!
Best moment this week: 
Having our baby showers, filled with friends, family, food and a bit of baby gear. Our nursery is coming to life, and everytime we walk in it's a shock to see that we just need to insert a baby (and um, organize).
Worst moment this week:
I've really been achey at the end of the day- and I know it's just because of the weight of my belly. My feet and ankles have FINALLY reduced down to (near) normal- after being sunburned at week 20 (and taking 10 weeks to return to a new normal). And, the light jogging I did at week 26 and the pain it has brought has subsided. I can roll over and get out of bed without strain and feel almost normal for the first part of the day. But, after 5pm, things really start aching and I know it's only my big belly weighing everything down.

Miss anything: 
Sweets! I have learned I have Gestational Diabetes, but luckily, after baby is born it will go away. When pregnant my pancreas is supposed to produce 3x as much insulin and 3x as much sugar. It seems my pancreas never got the memo about the insulin- so whenever I have anything sugary (i.e. a small spoonful of raisins on my oatmeal) it skyrockets. So I'm being mindful about avoiding sweets, mostly in the morning hours as it's always touchier then. At least it's been easily controlled!

On the flipside, my fasting (not eating) glucose numbers get really low, and sometimes dip below 60 (which is really bad, but in the opposite direction). So I've taken to bringing a Glucerna drink with me on my commute to work, and a power bar with me on the train ride home. And when I feel hungry, I know my totals are somewhere in the 60s.

What an experiment- figuring all this out has been.

Movement: 
He moves all the time, and at times, he seems to be angry with me! He's moved in small bumps in the same spot on the left side so much that it must be numb. I can't even feel on the inside unless it's a Big Move- only when my hand is resting on my stomach and jumps off when he kicks- or when I'm actually looking at my belly can I tell.
video
Also, Braxton Hicks contractions (normal, 'practice' contractions) have begun and already picked up this week. Which aren't painful but are a fun reminder of that things are finishing up baking in there!
Cravings: 
Peanut butter is still a favorite but I also am loving V8 and cheese. Which, is great, since cheese has no sugar and no carbs, and V8 is so nutritious that it's worth the few carbs it does have :)

Medicine:
Lovenox injections nightly at 0.40mL, ferrous sulfate (iron pills for anemia) at 325mg 3x daily.... and morning prenatal vitamins.

The injections still give me some trouble, but only because I've poked every piece of skin on my belly and am running out of real estate where my skin is not going to be super painful. I 'test poke' about 10 different spots before I find the 'sweet spot' where it doesn't hurt going in.

I also was diagnosed as anemic this week, which was a huge SURPRISE. I think being on blood thinners since April has something to so with that haha. So, another pill to take, 3x daily.

Queasy or sick: 
I'm not a fan of any food right now, which is really not great timing since I have to regulate when I eat and not eat what I want just to eat. Meat never interests me, and I've just had a constant nausea around bedtime.

Looking forward to: 
The nursery has a crib in it! Along with a bunch of clothes, a stroller and other necessities. I have it about as organized as I can until we get the dresser/changing table bought and set up, but this is now an exciting room to walk into :)




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Friday, September 25, 2015

26 weeks


How far along:
26 weeks

Gender: 
Baby Boy!

What's the protocol:
"How are you feeling?" When this question is asked, how do you respond- especially when it's been asked all the time and it's becoming obvious that the best answer to that question is "Great!" ?

I've usually defaulted to "Pretty good- a little tired/achey/swollen feet- but that's to be expected". Which usually makes everyone say "Yep- you're going to feel that way for awhile- just wait until you don't get any sleep on top of it!"

Not exactly encouraging. 
Sleep: 
Like a rock. Or, like a baby- which could mean that I get up every 2 hours to pee (versus eat), when I'm not sleeping like a rock.

Best moment this week: 
I SAW THE BABY MOVE FROM THE OUTSIDE!

He migrated his movements off of my bladder, and I saw two pushes up by my bellybutton!

Worst moment this week:
We went on our 'babymoon' as Tom has taken to calling it- and we ran from a deer that spooked us- a
lighthouse at night on Hatteras Island. I should really take the time to explain how exactly that happened, but we basically saw glowing eyes and ran.

The rest of the week, it became apparent that I pulled all sorts of muscles on both sides of my body, and could hardly get in/out of the car/bed/walk at all. It's finally better, and I can get out of bed like a regular person.

It seems really important now to Take It Easy.

Miss anything: 
I don't feel like I own and operate my body anymore, and that Daniel is in there either with little levers he uses to operate me, or perhaps a high-tech switchboard. At least I've learned this early on and admitted defeat.

I need to take an acid pill every evening at 7pm as I'm leaving work, or I'll definitely not be able to eat when I get home after 830. I have to schedule my water intake so I can even make it to and from work without having to get off the train and find a bathroom (... and a public one at that). And, of course, my feel swell up if I don't walk ever half hour- to the point of painful hobbling.

Movement: 
I already mentioned seeing his movements from the outside, which seems like one of the last new things I will experience, until labor pains begin. (Am I wrong? What other mile-markers will come?)


But also, yesterday he decided to FINALLY squirm on over to my right side, which he has never done. I have never felt him over there, but while sitting at my desk working yesterday, he decided to be an acrobat and flip all over the place, and jabbed me hard in my upper right part of my belly.

I sat up, probably looked concerned, and grasped my belly. He then moved to the other side and kicked me like crazy there too.

And, Dora seems especially interested in my growing belly, and he likes to kick when he feels any pressure, including her leaning on him!
video
Cravings: 
Oh, how I am loving Nutter Butters. Every day on the way to work, I get a snack of some sort- and while Nutter Butters are technically cookies..... they are peanut buttery goodness and I feel no remorse at all.

Medicine:
Lovenox injections nightly at 0.40mL and morning prenatal vitamins.

I'm sucking it up and dealing with some more bruising, which usually means that I've gone a bit too far in and hit muscle. But, the injections, while it takes some time to find that 'sweet spot' that won't hurt like crazy, or bleed a ton, then they are fine.

Queasy or sick: 
I'm not interested in any food at all. Except Nutter Butters. If you ever find that you have too many
Nutter Butters, send them my way. I'll sending you my shipping address.

Looking forward to: 
We moved the living room to the old dining room! Our apartment has three rooms, which were the Dining Room when you walk in, the 1st bedroom that we've used as a living room, and then our room. Well, dining room is now the living room, and while I was worried it would be cramped I love it! Nice to make some headway towards moving the bed out of the nursery and into the old living room.

I guess that would only make sense if you've seen our apartment.



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Monday, September 7, 2015

24 weeks

How far along:
24 weeks

Gender: 
Baby Boy!


What's the protocol:
Baby showers. To be honest, I've wanted as little involvement as possible from the beginning. I understand that many to-be moms want to help plan, but really, I'm still recovering from planning our wedding over 2 years ago. I want to be told where to show up, when, and perhaps give over some names for the guest list.

But, we have two different showers, with dates set, cars rented (for the PA one) and roles assigned. But then everything starts changing.


The PA shower has to happen on a specific weekend, and they asked today to move it to another weekend- but we can't. The NY shower was supposed to be thrown exclusively by the three women I'm closest with here- my mother and sister in law, and my good church friend. Well, to make the story short, things have changed there as well and more hands are now in the pot. I just wanted (especially) my mother and sister in law to have fun and do the whole thing. Guess I'll have to cook something else up for them to partake in... maybe I can put them to work painting the nursery.... I'm sure they'd love that :)

Sleep: 
Well, I've been waking relatively refreshed so I can't say much there! Except, it takes a full 8 hours plus 3 hours in my mid-day gap to achieve this. Whatever works!

Best moment this week: 
Tom is talking to the baby more when he moves at night, and we're able to call him by his name! I went and purchased a few baby clothes this week, courtesy of JCPenney and the awesome coupons that they've been sending our way. 

Worst moment this week:
I hate climbing stairs. I know I've been less active than before the pregnancy (but let's be fair- I'm achey, swollen and exhausted). But I can climb stairs! I used to be a StairMaster! But whenever I scale one flight to face another, I want to collapse. It's amazing how our body compensates for a growing baby but it definitely does take your breath (and lung capacity) away.

Miss anything: 
I'd love to feel regular sized again. I was never a small woman, but when shopping, I resolve that I have to shop with the frame of mind that all my clothes have to be baggy. That is, until spring rolls around again.

I'm bumping my bump into door frames when turning (which is funny) and getting my shirt soaking wet when washing dishes (which is really annoying). I do miss feeling 'regular sized'.

Movement: 
These last two weeks Daniel hasn't been moving as dramatically, but it is consistent and more frequent. I guess he is done rearranging furniture (?) since things seem to have settled down a bit. But then, a day after I think that he's enjoying his new environment, I get a ridiculously painful movement in the same spot he loves to move around in (my left side). I guess he was being considerate before, since I'm either stretching or bruised on that spot- his favorite place to start turning and flipping around.

Cravings: 
I have a McDonalds Oreo Frappe in front of me now, so I'm pretty content. Tacos are my favorite meal right now, and raw bell peppers are a favorite snack.

Medicine:
Lovenox injections nightly at 0.40mL and morning prenatal vitamins.

I never mentioned that my doctor was considering upping my Lovenox shots to twice daily (at the anatomy scan)- but thankfully she decided 0.40mL a day was adequate. I don't hate them, and have honestly begun to enjoy the routine and the dedication involved in taking them everynight. But I'm glad I don't have to do them in the daytime too!

Queasy or sick: 
I think I'm going to stop saying toothpaste (and toothbrushing) and just say Gag Reflex. I can't eat anything that requires more than a handful of bites without swallowing. We had steak last Sunday and I had to stop. It made me gag, just having to work so hard at getting it down.

Looking forward to: 
Getting the apartment rearranged and the nursery to be painted! This will happen when we return from our trip, which we are on right NOW! We left Brooklyn on Sunday and won't be returning until Saturday. A roadtrip to South Carolina, up the Outer Banks and along the beaches- one last vacation before Daniel arrives :)



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Friday, August 28, 2015

5 Tips to Great Posture

Not that I have great posture... yet. But, I've been going to the chiropractor often for a few weeks now have been told that nothing will help me more than getting into a habit of maintaining a good posture.

But when you've been a sloucher for years, how do you do that?

1. Helium Balloons
   The first thing I was told to do (by my doctor, when he caught me slouching) was to pretend there were 3 helium balloons tied to me. One tied to the top of my head, one to my nose and one to my bellybutton. If you just imagined this happening to you, you probably sat tall with your nose pointing straight out and you pushed your belly out and created the natural curve in your spine (that slouching eliminates).

2. Make Bed Angels
  I used to do all sorts of stretches every morning by bending side to side on the floor, putting one leg on top of a dresser while reaching to the other on the floor. While these were my imagined 'wake up' stretches in my early 20s, I would probably tip over or pull something if I tried that now. One exercise which I still do and that feels amazing is to make snow angels... in bed. I imagine you could do this on the floor as well, but I like waking up the muscles along my spine while waking up the rest of. Less likely to hit the snooze button! Plus, who doesn't love taking over the bed, in an act of rebellion against your spouse :)

3. Uncross Legs
  I read somewhere that while it might be ladylike to sit with crossed legs, that it can actually misalign your posture. On my first doctors appointment (ever, yep. I'm a recent convert) he found my right leg was 1.5 inches shorter than my left (and my left was doing most of the work)! The best way to sit in a chair is to have your ankles directly underneath your knees, and an inch or so between your knees and the end of your seat.

4. Ears Over Shoulders
   Another easy to remember trick is make sure your ears are over your shoulders. Not your collarbone or your chest. This is the quickest way to remember that good posture includes your neck as well as your back!

5. Use Props
   There are lots of reasons why you might still have to lean forward or sit awkwardly at work. Raise or lower your work screen/monitor to sit at eye level. Raise or lower your chair to the best position for you. And if still find yourself slouching forward, consider a footrest or portable lumbar back support that you can affix to your office chair. At the very least, it will remind you to lean back and keep that good posture going, even when hard at work!


So tell me...
What have you done to improve your posture?
Do you have certain habits that you always find yourself doing?
Have you ever visited a chiropractor, or had a doctor tell you how to improve your posture?


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Thursday, August 27, 2015

22 weeks- Gender Reveal!

How far along:
22 weeks

Gender: 
Baby Boy!


What's the protocol:
The great coffee debate. Oh yes, I do still have coffee. Usually when on roadtrips I'll get a small or have some from Tom's cup. Today I was eating at the window (staring at the pedestrians outside) at Pret and this guy walks by with a huge beautiful iced coffee. I told Tom I missed coffee. We went to Dunkin' Donuts and I debated asking for something else because I knew people would stare and judge the pregnant lady with a cup of coffee.


Forget that it could possibly be decaf, but whatever.

I'm just getting fed up (already?) with people telling me to not eat this, be careful of high blood sugar, high blood pressure and falling down. I guess if someone ever approaches me and 'just wants me to know' that I shouldn't have any caffeine, I can 'just let them know' that there is such a thing as decaf coffee.

I'm also not against having a sandwich from the deli if it's all that is available for lunch and I will probably oversee and do most of the nursery painting (with many breaks and proper ventilation).

Sleep: 
Amazing! I went to the chiropractor and after he fixed 28 years of bad habits, I am sleeping like a rock and able to bend all the way over without shooting pain. And here I thought the only reason people went to the chiropractor was if they were in an accident or got whiplash.

Best moment this week: 
SLEEP! And finding out the gender, of course!!

Worst moment this week:
Um, loosing control. I had a weekend away set up for the entire family to learn the gender of our baby, and everything went wrong with scheduling. I felt like the weekend I set up was hijacked, and got grumpy. Guess it also has something to do with missing my mom and only being in town about 16 hours to see her, versus the 2-3 days as originally planned. And, I am a control freak who will need to get over that. But, it was a great weekend away and worked out perfectly. So, the worry was really for nothing.

Miss anything: 
I miss slender ankles. I never had those beautiful svelt ankles that look amazing, but well, they are monsters and holding water like crazy. I have imprints from all my shoes at the end of the day, even flip flops. Since I got the massive swelling from being burned 3 weeks ago, I assume my body thought "well, lets just keep those. She's going to have them swell up later in the pregnancy anyway, it'll save us some paperwork'. Pft.
Movement: 
I've been shocked at how drastic (?) the movements are suddenly becoming. And how I can predict when baby is going to move. It feels like baby is putting his feet on my left side and, as though pushing off the side of an Olympic size pool. He then pushes off to swims to the center of my belly in a big powerful (?) motion. I told Tom that baby was winding up to move, and he didn't believe me. And it ended up being the most intense baby movement we felt yet. And, oddly enough, I've never felt baby or heard baby's heartbeat on my right side- always the left and the center. Guess that's where the placenta is located, like a big airbag absorbing the impact or something.

Cravings: 
Pineapple, and strawberry rhubarb pie!

Medicine:
Lovenox injections nightly at 0.40mL and morning prenatal vitamins.

Remember how I was 'coaching' Tom to give me the shots? Well, I've forgotten and need to get back on that again. My injections are migrating north as I grow, and to get them back towards the lower side of my bump, I will soon need his help.

Any suggestions on how I get over this? How do I hand the needle over to another person? When I get bigger, will it be necessary for help?
Queasy or sick: 
Toothpaste. Well, I should be honest and say toothbrush here. The gag reflex is horrible!

Looking forward to: 
More movement! And getting the nursery painted and starting to work on getting the house organized (so we don't have to worry about it in the last trimester.)



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Friday, August 21, 2015

Yellow Cabs in NYC


Why Yellow?

In 1915, Chicago entrepreneur John Hertz (of future rental-car-company fame) opened the first Yellow Cab Company in his city. To unify his fleet, Hertz had commissioned a local university study to “scientifically ascertain which color would stand out strongest at a distance,” per his biographer—and yellow won.  With a consistent color and make, “official” taxicabs signal to wary riders that they’re duly regulated by city government.
innyworld on Instagram
The logic of visual standardization became fully entrenched with a 1967 ruling that all “official” New York taxicabs be painted yellow.
midnight.xpress on Instagram
NYC has long been regarded as the home of the yellow cab (although there are yellow cabs all over the place, any major city seems to have them, if only because of their eye catching color). When we have visitors, they sometimes mention that they want to take their first taxi cab ride. And while there are many types of cab and car services available- they really mean a yellow cab.
innyworld on Instagram
In addition to yellow cabs (which pick up in Manhattan ONLY below West 110th Street/East 96th Street), you can hail green cabs (from anywhere above the 110th St/96th St line, or while in the other boroughs) or call a local car service and requested a car to pick you up.
By Z22 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

So tell me...
Have you ever visited NYC and ridden in a yellow (or green or car service) taxi cab?
Does your city have a yellow cab service as well?
Did you find the drivers are crazy drivers, or that it's the only way to get around all the traffic?

---

***The above text is from the below cited sources. Please feel free to click over to the original articles, which you can do by visiting the following links: 
Taxicabs of New York City

Thursday, August 13, 2015

20 weeks- Outside belly movement!

How far along:
20 weeks

Gender: 
We won’t find out until August 22 at the gender reveal party

Maternity clothes:
I am in maternity clothes, except jeans (which will come when warmer temperatures arrive).
Since this questions is now moot, the new topic here is:
What's the protocol:
I'm starting to think about a registry, as I know 2 baby showers are in the making. One of which is trying to involve me and I keep telling them to have fun and do whatever they think would be best. This is the normal way, right? To give them a date (or range) and a list of people, and let them go at it? Or should I give them a theme, games? I'd rather let them plan it, and just enjoy to be honest :)

Sleep: 
Well, I bought a pregnancy pillow! After all that debating I decided it was worth it in the end... after my husband encouraged me to splurge a little on my comfort. He is also the one who encouraged me to visit his chiropractor this week, who discovered that I've been walking around on a tilted pelvis (forever? I've never been adjusted before) and that my right leg was AN INCH AND A HALF shorter than my left. Poor left has been doing the most work for who knows how long. No wonder I was in so much pain. But... I slept amazing last night and feel much better after!



Best moment this week: 
Tom was able to feel the baby move! Also, we had our anatomy scan and found out the baby is doing well... and, having not seen him/her in two months, is HUGE! I look at my belly and can't imagine a baby that big in there. 6.5 inches curled up, or, as will be measured next week, 10 inches total from head to toe. That's half the length of a full grown baby! 

Worst moment this week:
On August 1st, we went to the beach and I sustained 2nd degree burns to my legs below my knees. Which is crazy considering that I BATHED in sunblock ever 2 hours. I was the sunblock police. But, then again, I know pregnant bodies are (despite strong and life sustaining) also wimpy bodies. My ankles and leg skin was too swollen to walk, and air hitting my legs made me cry out. Took two days for my to walk anywhere outside the apartment, and they are still swollen. I'm guessing the sunburn caused the swelling, and my body just figured that since I would likely swell up anyway... why not just keep it? Not a big fan of my cankles, but what can I do?

Miss anything: 
I would love to wear my wedding ring- but my hands have swollen as well (in addition to the bottoms of my feet, which makes mornings pretty painful). I have actually seen eyes go from my belly to my hand and then to my face, which makes me more aware of all times I have done it as well. Such a gut reaction, to look there.

And, this article was probably my favorite read of the past week. So You Think You're Pro-Life from Beauty Through Imperfection explains that while many consider themselves pro-life, we don't support pregnancy in others unless it's picture perfect. So many girls have resisted the pull of pro-choice abortions to carry a baby to term, and even if they are young, unwed or disheveled, we should give them a smile and support this new life they chose to carry to term.

Movement: 
Movement has become a steady thing! And while it is not all day and I really notice it when I finally setting down for the evening, every evening I feel a little something. Can't wait until baby grows some more muscle and starts making intentional movements, versus just random jabs here and there.

Tom felt the baby this week, and has since been running to me whenever I tell him he/she moved. What a wonderful first for him! I have had this baby growing in me for 5 months, but his is the first effects that he has felt himself!

Cravings: 
I just want every Popsicle on Earth. And garlic bread. But mainly I've been wanting sugar- which compelled me to back sugar cookies (and use the Christmas cookie cutters).

Medicine:
Lovenox injections nightly at 0.40mL and morning prenatal vitamins.

So, at week 20 exactly, I have quit resisting the inevitable. I'm getting larger and rounder, and having trouble getting the needle into the lower sector of my belly. So I've started 'coaching' Tom on how to give me my shots. Which is the hardest thing for me to do- give up control over my impending painful shot and to hand the needle over to a man who (in my oversensitive opinion) does not chop vegetables correctly. You remember I have a knife-handling phobia, right? All those years in food service have really done a number on me.

Any suggestions on how I get over this? How do I hand the needle over to another person?

Queasy or sick: 
Toothpaste. Still hate it.

Looking forward to: 
Gender reveal in just over a week! Steady kicks to grow stronger. And Tom to feel more kicks from the baby.



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Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Grief for God's Glory- Sam and Nia's Viral Video

If you're reading this in 2015, you've likely already seen the Youtube video where a husband (Sam) surprises his wife (Nia) with a positive pregnancy test. The internet loved it- everyone loved it- and it was shared and praised all over Facebook, nationwide news channels and anywhere else you looked.

They post daily vlogs online (similar to blogging, but video and in their case, daily). They were doing this recreationally in addition to working, and suddenly, due tho an unorthodox pregnancy announcement, their channel had millions of viewers.
Then the next day she miscarried.


The whole world did at least one of three things.
1. They ignored it (because it is awkward, confusing and/or sad).
2. Said things like 'why do people share everything on the Internet' and shamed them.
3. Accused them of staging the entire thing (saying that they knew it would go viral and boost their viewership).

And, while I can understand reason #1 and the reasons for ignoring the miscarriage (it's awkward. sad, or just confusing to many people)- I can't stand hearing people say reason #2, a day after they themselves likely shared the hot new video on their own Facebook page. Hearing that you weren't allowed to tell others in the off chance that you might make life a little to real or uncomfortable (for them) has always been a big pet peeve of mine.

And #3 is ridiculous. It's impossible to know when anything you do online will be praised, ridiculed or shared over a million times. Try as I might (and did), HuffPost chose not to accept the article I linked just above. The internet is tricky, and there is a lot of competition out there. And (I'm 100% sure) that anyone who has lost a baby can attest, that hearing her description of actually loosing the baby is spot on. That is something you only learn that when you have truly lost a pregnancy.

Listening to Nia weep for her new understanding of all those who've miscarried with her, explaining the (very literal) physical and emotional relief that sweeps over you when you birth a baby and the feeling of gratitude for the beating heart in her eldest- it slaps modern culture in the face.

In a world where a wanted pregnancy is praised and an unwanted one is discarded...
the mourning of a early pregnancy miscarriage where a heartbeat is lost, that is something that is not even acknowledged or shared. To expect it to be acknowledged as a real event that took place, and offered support and respect is not something offered to those who loose a baby*.

*Except in late pregnancy loss, when the baby is more likely to be accepted for the baby it is, versus medical tissue.

These vloggers have encouraged me, and others as you can see throughout the comments.
They later mention that they feel blessed to have so many new viewers offering comforting words, and know that while the Lord has taken their baby to Heaven he has blessed in another unexpected area. And, I assume, that is where #3 happened, and the conspiracy theorists decided to shame their efforts to be transparent and honest.

I do not nearly have the reach these two do, but the comments I receive when I wrote about my miscarriages, aftermath of dealing with them, and now my pregnancy announcements have meant the world to me. To imagine, while half of their comments are attempting to tear them down, the other half needed are offering prayers and support. The same local television and news sources that told the story of Sam and Nia's pregnancy announcement told a followup story sharing the sad news. But- no one is sharing that or making go viral. It's all but been ignored, outside of the Youtube comments beneath their videos.

But then...Two days later...
Sam tells all their new viewers that while he understands that not all that are watching are believers of Christ, he knows that they need Him. It is short, and of course started an uproar in the comments below- but they did something amazing with the platform that they didn't have even a week prior.



To God be the Glory- in all circumstances.


So tell me...
Have you seen the videos above?
Did you (honestly) feel any of the reactions in #1, #2, or #3?
Were you as thrilled to see the call to Christ as I was?
------I've not seen that until today on a flourishing Youtube channel.




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