Monday, June 2, 2014

Cultivating Hospitality in Myself

I was never the one to invite people over, or be the hostess. Never the outgoing type or the leader. And that’s fine as long as you have someone who does these things (keeps you connected) but I’m not that lucky.

So, there comes a point where you realize you haven’t seen your friends in a few months (or a in some cases an entire year) that you make the commitment to change that. And since all our childhood or college friendships were developed at a bar or houseparty, we’re really having trouble organizing events that don’t revolve around alcohol. The invites have slowed, but that’s because the events they tend to go to are all at bars, and we’ve opted out enough times to get the point across.

So we’ve started throwing dinner parties, game nights, paintball getaways or inviting others to go do things like visit a museum or park. This summer Tom and I plan on going camping, or at least make it back to Pennsylvania and have a mini-roadtrip with anyone who's interested. And some of our friends are into those things (or understand that there is a value to keeping up with each other) and come along as often as possible. But they tend to be same ones who come time and again. Others are a bit pickier about coming along, or can’t imagine events like camping without it having a focus on drinking. It can be a hard line to draw in the sand, but luckily we’re seeing them say yes more and more. Which is great, because while they are all mostly single and living the high life, they also know that won’t last forever and when It’s time to slow down we’ll be there waiting for them.

And, when the rest of our friends mention heading to a bar after our dinner party or the museum (it almost always happens) we can then say our goodbyes.

Anyone out there have this problem or situation?
Anyone trying to cultivate friendships with the friends still in the party atmosphere, sans alcohol?
Any tips?


  1. I used to always be the one doing the inviting so I cut that out. I got tired of feeling used in a way. I do miss getting together though. Maybe I will host motivated me!


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