Our 2nd Anniversary

May 26, 2015

Two years married today, and I find myself thinking that I am still a huge work in progress- we both are. Learning how to be married to another person, someone who is equally in need of grace and forgiveness as I am is more than a difficult endeavor. It feels like we often fail, but when we succeed it's an amazing feeling. Knowing that we can get through tough times while leaning on one another, and then share so much joy together in the easy days. To immediately call the other when we need to 'think something through' or when we have some amazing news! That they are the ones who we want to take care of and spend our lives encouraging.

Ephesians 5 often reminds me of how we are to operate as a married unit. Every well-oiled machine, every working unit has parts, and they have different roles to fulfill so that that they work together correctly.

There are many times when I think of how I do not deserve such a kind man who puts my needs above his own, but then I remember that his purpose as a husband is exactly that. He is told to cherish me and nurture my growth. To help me grow not just in our relationship together but more importantly, in my own relationship with Christ. To lead our family in a profitable direction and to provide for its survival. Ephesians 5 tells him that he will find find refuge in me, and that we will band together as one for each other.

25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^a28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 

When I read that, I feel that he does this to great success. I, on the other hand, am told to submit to my husband, as to the Lord. I am not a quiet woman or one without opinions. I don't sit by and nod in agreement at everything my husband says. But (thankfully), I am not told to be a silent member of our marriage. I am told to submit and understand that in any major crossroads, he makes the final decision. To care for our family and the needs of it's members. Not about what to eat for dinner, or choosing what color to paint a room.

I am however, told to honor and submit myself to my husband. As to the Lord. This means that I am am to have a right understanding of how our marriage is to operate and that my husband is the leader of the house. Oftentimes I fail. I am stubborn and like to hold on to what I've already decided in my head. But, thankfully, I'm learning the beauty of following my husband's leadership, especially knowing that he only has our best in mind.

22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

I love this verse, despite the worldly hatred of it. It reminds me that while I am cherished by my husband as though I was the church, I must also complete this interaction by respecting and honoring him as the church should honor and obey Christ. This of course doesn't mean that he has right to be overbearing and do harm- to assume that would be have a false understanding of the beauty of this interaction between husband and wife, Christ and the church.

And... if you really compare the husband's duty to the wife's duty... it seems as though I got the easy end of the deal. I already trust him and know he's prayerfully leading our family. If I were to be selfish and 'choose' which role I would prefer (and luckily I've no say in the matter)- I would choose the submissive wife every time. His role of leading and protecting the family undoubtedly comes with much heartache and importance.

I don't always remember to welcome him home and be a comfort to him, I'm working on it. And more importantly, I'm trying to remember that our marriage is a unit that requires a leader and a follower. To be his 'helper' in this world and to follow his lead. While we promised to do that 2 years ago, I'm making a point to remember this vow and invest myself in this role of mine. To submit, honor and be a refuge for him.

The header of this blog is our pinkie promise, as seen above. I love the symbolism of the pinkie promise, a gesture to remind me that our marriage is not something to take for granted. It's a vow to be there continually for each other, and to honor each other through our words and our actions. This blog may have morphed from a newlywed-reflection type blog to much more, but the pinkie promise still hold true in every aspect of it.

And this year for our 2nd Anniversary, we continued our tradition of  taking a
picture in a place where we had wedding photos taken. 

Check out our 1st Anniversary post here: 12 Things Learned Our First Year of Marriage

                 
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