Today I turned 28, and I initially felt underwhelmed. I remember back to when I had a countdown to my birthday. "September 4, 1996-- Happy Birthday to Me! 10 Years!" was written on top of my elementary math notes, next to the date. Getting older was something to celebrate.
And it is. I thank God for the ability to live another year, to spend time writing this blog post, and to eat cake later. There's bread in the oven, news on the television and my Facebook is blowing up with birthday greetings from loved ones. Google even told me to have a Happy Birthday.
My in-laws do this pseudo-surprise party for every birthday where they pretend there isn't a cake, and lure you into the other room while they light the candles. It's cute, and I know that many don't have this luxury.
But yesterday I got thinking about how I was supposed to have a baby by now. And while I might get pregnant right away when we start trying in November, it would have to be a third "one-shot wonder" kind of pregnancy for me to have a baby by this time next year. What if it takes a while, or have trouble maintaining more pregnancies? Being 28 is one thing, but having our first baby at 29? 30? 31? That seems so far away. My parents had me when they were 32, and while it was selfish, I always wondered what it would be like to have a younger mom and dad.
Eh, enough of all that. I'm going to enjoy some fresh out-of-the-oven cinnamon raisin bread.
So tell me...
Anyone else feel down on their birthday?
Do you have to be 29 before you stop counting your birthdays?
Happy birthday to you! I hope it's a great one.
ReplyDeleteI never feel down on my birthday - it's the reason I'm here and it fills me with joy every year (I'm 37 now). I celebrate all month. I also use it as a time to realign whatever path I'm on or get myself on a path I'd like to be on or off a path I don't want to be on anymore.
My husband typically struggles with birthdays.
This year is my first year with these feelings. I know it's just because of trouble with pregnancies, but besides that I'm thoroughly enjoying it :)
DeleteAll month? Something to consider :)
Happy birthday!!!! Enjoy your day and everything that you do have! You are so blessed!
ReplyDelete:) Thank you, I am. Birthdays are a time for self-assessment and planning, right? But always I count many more blessings that setbacks, as all the setbacks are blessings in disguise.
DeleteHappy belated birthday! I hope it was grand. :-) Setbacks can be blessings in disguise...try to find your silver lining. Cheers to another year. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Kelly! It was good :)
DeleteHappy birthday (and thanks for linking up on my blog)! Birthdays can be tough when you're dealing with infertility, but I encourage you to focus on the blessings you have. I hope it's a wonderful day!
ReplyDeleteIt feels very odd when you pass a milemarker (due dates, 1 year since seeing the lines, 1 year since miscarrying, etc) and birthdays are in the same camp. It was, thanks for the wishes :)
DeleteI understand feeling down on your birthday when it feels like that biological clock is ticking away.y I've been going through infertility for six and a half years now. We were already "late starteras" since I was 30 on our honeymoon. I would have found 35 a very hard one, because everyone talks about that as being when fertility really drops :-( DH took me to Disney for the day, and there was no time to be upset :-) So, I got through it. This year feels hard, since I'll be 38, and that's always talked about as another drop point! I never wanted to be an older parent (if we do make it to pregnancy at some point) I will think of something to do to celebrate though and will enjoy the day, even if it hurts too.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad and yet reassuring to know that others have similar (and at the same time, very different) views on the same topic. We still get "you have time, you're young"- but it's because we live in NYC and everyone is still single. I'm thrilled we found out immediately after getting married, because starting 'late' can have some downsides unfortunately.
DeleteAnd Disney is a great way to distract, we were 'stranded' in Seattle for mothers day, and it made for a nice distraction for a potentially sad day.