Monday, October 20, 2014

Why We Don't Share Chores

I'm still brand new to this new world of domesticity, but when we were engaged Tom and I agreed on one hard and fast fact- we would not share chores.

Chores? Shouldn't I call it housework? I do enjoy certain aspects of running a home, such as picking items up, keeping things put away and dusting. I'll call those things housework. But then there are the doozies that everyone kind of hates a little. Those are the chores in question.

Picking Up the House
Even when we were dating, it became apparent that Tom doesn't go around the house putting things away. He will create a pile of his laundry next to the hamper because he doesn't think about it. He will leave drinking glasses in the living room, and forget where he put his keys and wallet more often than he'd like to admit.

I used to ask him to put his clothes away (or dishes in the sink), but why not just do it? I've at this point adopted the task of picking the place up throughout the day, as needed. And since I love a clean house and Tom just plain doesn't remember, I'm glad to do it.

Laundry (or, more specifically) the Laundromat
I HATE going to the laundromat. I don't use the word 'hate' often, but when you are completely dependent on separating and bagging up your worn clothes, hauling them downstairs to your pushcart, getting the pushcart out the door and through the front gate and onto the sidewalk and into the laundromat and getting your quarters and loading your soaps and then getting your clothes in.... (pause for a breath here).... then you have to hang out there with all these strangers and wait for it to finish. And then you have to load the dryers, wait for them to finish, fold all your clothes on the 1 ft square piece of counter-top real estate (that you had to fight for), pack your bags and return home.

Hate, hate the laundromat. I grew up with my own washer and dryer, and yearn for that in the future. Tom is well aware of my position on going to the laundromat.

And so you know I'm not a total tyrant, making him do the (in my opinion) hardest job- I sort the laundry and bag it up, and put it away when he returns.

Kitty Duties
I got pregnant right after we got married, so Tom took over the kitty litter and has kept it since. And since he usually gets home before me, he gives Dora new food and water then as well.

I am the sole dishwasher, not necessarily because I love or like it, but because no one ever does it to my satisfaction. Occasionally I might have a 'guest dishwasher' step in, in which case I appreciate any help you offer :-) But why should I make Tom do something I'm better at? Colanders and pot lids do need a full scrub. I tend to get stressed when dishes haven't been rinsed, and aren't stacked in the sink neatly. I take the liberty to do it myself rather than stress when it's not done to my satisfaction.

When I started waking at 6am during the week to work from home (almost a year ago, wow!), I make breakfast for us in the mornings. Which, incidentally, is the best part of my day.

Taking out the Trash/Recycling
Tom takes out the trash and recycling for two reasons. Being immediately pregnant I was exempt, and when I wasn't exempt he immediately revoked the task for himself. He doesn't like how I do it. As meticulous as I am about the dishes, he is as meticulous about the trash. He disinfects the trash cans every night with a hefty amount of Lysol or Mistolin. Which I can't stand the smell of, so I'm usually hiding in another room for this nightly ritual.

I handle the other stuff- sweeping, mopping, cleaning all the surfaces, furniture, restocking the house- are just second nature at this point. I'm very grateful that chores haven't been a hot button issue with us (apparently it's right up there on the big divorce list with arguments over money and children).

So tell me...
Do you share chores?
What chore can you just not stand?
It's about that time again! Six months ago I wrote from A-Z, a different letter every day in April (except Sundays). This time around I'm going to write a post every day in October, hence Blogtober. Clever, huh?

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The Daily Tay


  1. Well I've never lived with someone so I'm not sure what I would do! But I like your idea of having specific things each person does. I think that's good and then if the other person needs help sometimes see nothing wrong with crossing lines and offering a helping hand with theirs too!

    1. Yes, that definitely happens, and when I accidentally shrink a shirt or he doesn't get every spot on a plate, we can't be too harsh because we are just helping lend a hand :)

  2. I agree with you too. I've heard a lot of people saying how they "share chores" and to be honest I use to be a little jealous. But like you have mention there are something's one or the other is better at. I tend to take care of everything but garbage, washing and feeding our dog and dance classes for my girls. At the same time if me or him can't do what we normally do, the other will step in.

  3. First off, I love that pic but hope it's not you..haha. I hear you on that too. My last place the machines were just downstairs (and still coin loaded) but it was SO annoying. Someday you will have your own again! We still are figuring chores all out. I do most of the picking up (but am working on the "happy to do it" part) and he does the garbages most of the time because I hate it. Same with the litter box. He brought Baxter into the marriage so he deals with the litter box. The pregnancy thing helps too, even the possibility is as good of a reason as any. I love the name Dora too!


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