Friday, February 27, 2015

Are You Up For a Visit?

I haven't heard that in a while. In my mind, this is something you would hear through the phone (analog of course, if not rotary), from a friend, who is basically asking permission to drop in on short notice. But these days it feels like short notice doesn't really happen, or has maybe gone extinct. No one "stops in" anymore because they were in the neighborhood. Too busy, too hurried and too much technology.

No, all of my visits are planned well in advance, with an appointment on my calendar if I'm being honest. And I could contribute that to several things, like "most of my people live far away, so of course it's planned..." but that would be a dumb excuse. If someone were to call me and say they were in the neighborhood, or just show up at my door on Saturday morning with the "Leave it to Beaver" [insert anything homemade here], my jaw would hit the floor.
And, as my jaw hit the floor, I would notice all the dust bunnies hanging out down there, next to the laundry that hasn't made it's way to the laundromat yet. And, perhaps I'd be in my pajamas with sleep still in my eyes at noon. And, sadly, I might either feel ashamed or irritated that they found me in my natural habitat, robbing me of the chance to create any semblance of order.

Then Wednesday happened.
I went into Downtown Brooklyn for some paperwork, and reached out to a friend the evening prior to schedule a 'coffee break' at her office. When I was on jury duty we had started this habit of meeting up for lunch, and now, it's something to look forward to whenever in the area. And, instead of the expected hour and a half wait, I was out in 5 minutes. So, instead of meeting up at 11:30 as scheduled, I texted her at 10:15, letting her know I was done and going to Starbucks for a coffee, and to let me know if she wanted me to grab her something or if she wanted to reschedule. I felt like dirt! How dare I be sitting downstairs, imposing on her day (which had barely begun at this point) workday?

She took about half an hour to respond (still arriving at the office I'm guessing) but then told me to come on up! And, yes, she received a few phone calls while I was there and had to sign for a package, but it seems that I really wasn't the worst inconvenience in the world. Shocking news to me, because if it had happened to me, my head might've exploded.

I definitely need to loosen up and grow in my hospitality and while this is something I've been working on, it's always been on my terms/my schedule. Even my inlaws (Tom's parents) who live across the hall get a sigh sometimes when I hear their knock. They live in the same building, did I really expect them to call to ask to stop in, to retrieve their ladder I stole a month ago to put away Christmas decorations? Or to retrieve a pan I borrowed and forgot to return? Of course not. Sure, I'm comfy in the couch but then I remember the times when I nearly chopped my finger off or thought that someone was holding my husband ransom, and I ran across the hall for help.

I need to stop being so selfish with my time and freely welcome people, who are just popping in for a visit unexpectedly.

So tell me...
Have you ever popped in for a visit unannounced?
When was the last time you did, or someone did to you?
Does the pile of laundry mock you as you greet and pour coffee for your visitor?


--------------------------------------------
Every Friday hundreds join the Five Minute Fridays writing flash mob, 
where bloggers get together to write on a common topic or specific word. No extreme editing; 
no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 
Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
Five Minute Friday - 4

14 comments:

  1. When I was at university, living in a shared apartment, my aunt and my cousin arrived at the front door unannounced...with about seven more of my extended family. We still talk about that visit. It was crazy because once I opened the door to greet them they just kept streaming in. I am not even sure we had enough cups for tea.

    If that happened today I would not be prepared and I likely would be mortified but if it happened occasionally, I'd probably be ready and wouldn't the world be a friendlier place?

    Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember that as well, and I kept that relatively spotless (and had less to worry about with visitors) I don't think I cared then either! People were always welcome!

      Delete
  2. I'm a bit older than you I suspect, but I no longer worry about what isn't completed when I have the privilege of an unannounced visitor. Some day things will slow down for you, but it's a good time in your life to set up your priorities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not quite there yet, I'd like my inlaws to see a clean house when they drop in, since you know, I took him from them and all :)

      I'll get there though, probably about the time I have kids and a better excuse!

      Delete
  3. I'm ultra sensitive when it comes to inconveniencing someone. This was a great reminder to loosen up a bit :-). She Reads Truth has a good hospitality study just FYI. I think if there weren't so many dust bunnies I'd be more relaxed lol, but it is about relationships right?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the suggestion! I've never joined a large reading group, this could be great. Just added the app and will check it out :)

      Delete
  4. In college I loved having people pop over! Now...I hate it!! Sometimes I don't even answer the door! It's horrible, I know! But when I am home I just don't want to be bothered with socializing. I want to chill out and relax! Not to mention the house usually looks like a tornado came through thanks to the kids!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think anyone had the expectation of a clean house in college (I definitely didn't) but now I feel the pressure more. And, without kids, I have no excuse haha

      Delete
  5. I try to keep the house looking tidy, to be prepared for sudden, unexpected visitors. That doesn't always happen though. At least since I live in an apartment, there is a couple of minutes from them ringing the buzzer to arriving at my door. At least that gives time to chuck some things into a cupboard and close the door if necessary! Haha. Each time, I say, "Never again. Next time I'll be prepared..."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm actually okay at tidy, but I'm horrible at dishes and sweeping daily. And, it seems that 'shedding' season has begun with Dora and I will be sweeping 2-3 times daily to catch those horrible fur tumbleweeds. Apartments do give an extra minute to get things shoved in the bedroom :)

      Delete
  6. I am not very comfortable with the idea of random guests for the reasons that you mentioned. I like my house and myself to be tip-top when guests arrive and sadly, surprise visits don't always see that happening. Probably, I need to relax too.

    FMF friend,
    Tanya
    http://tanyaanurag.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we all feel this way, to some extent. But, I wish it wasn't this way, something so appealing about the surprise guest and conversations had instead of washing dishes. Happy Wednesday!

      Delete
  7. Farin,

    One of the hardest things I had to get used to was when we moved to the Great Smokey Mountains.
    The neighbors come into your house without knocking just to say, `Hello`

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, but since we couldn't even see our neighbors we could hear them pulling into our drive (and I guess hide anything in the closet). I was young, so I never had to do anything but remember the hustle a bit :)

      Delete

Pin It button on image hover