Friday, February 20, 2015

Opening Up about Blogging

To my friends and family...

You might be here now because I said something about writing online, or perhaps a you found me on Twitter and see the [New Post] tweets I put up throughout the week. I'm sure that if you write online in any capacity you can relate to what I'm about to say. But chances are that if you know me in real life, the simple phrase "I am a blogger" can cause some confusion. So let me clear some things up.
I've been thinking a lot lately about telling people about this space, and I know that at some point everyone I know will find out that I write. And that I write online. So I'm striking before this happens, because I'm sure I would like some clarification if I stumbled onto a blog and found out some surprising new things.

You might be shocked and find out something that I haven't told you yet (or shared with my friends and family)- mainly about struggling with infertility but other things as well. If you knew about a pregnancy, you heard about the resulting miscarriage(s). I imagine the lack of babies a year plus later might clue anyone in if I missed that small detail. And to be honest, when I get my next positive test I don't plan on telling anyone (other than the most important people in my life and the visitors here) until the 'coast is clear'.

If you are a family member or friend who found me online, don't be surprised by this. Especially if we don't talk other than through Facebook comments or if we haven't seen each other in a year. The people who visit my blog will hear about it before you.

I find that that it's best to not tell my friends and family in real life all the details. Because if you haven't struggled with this, my telling you will only make you sad and make situations awkward. Most people don't want to know the truth, they want the happy ending.

The nitty-gritty about doctors and diagnoses and costs and struggles and fears are best suited to like-minded readers, ones who came here knowing what I write about and are going through similar situations.

I do write about other things as well, such as "learning how to be married", topics about Christianity and my adjusting to city life- when it still (and likely always will) feel foreign to this small-town girl. Things that might not resonate with my real-life friends and family but topics that are open for discussion and helpful within the online community I've found through blogging.

So tell me...
Do I know you in real life (did you find my blog)?
If you are a blogger, have you opened up to your family and friends?
How did that go?

Every Friday hundreds join the Five Minute Fridays writing flash mob, 
where bloggers get together to write on a common topic or specific word. No extreme editing; 
no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 
Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
Five Minute Friday - 4


  1. Farin, I do not know you personally, so we have met up through the blogs, checking out when others make comments. My heart goes out to you with many changes and frustrations in your life. Many years ago, I was in a bad marriage, and I did not open up to my family...some things are just no one's business. There are better sources for counseling and guidance. I encourage you to find people in like situations and to turn to a religious leader of your choice for some guidance. If it's okay, I'll remember you in my prayers.

    1. I love when you stop in and offer some advice, really shows that the community that exists around certain topics online can help to encourage one another. And, in addition to the above, I find that writing it out is therapeutic. Plus, if it helps anyone else who makes their way over to my side of the web, even better :)

  2. I've told some of my family and friends about my blog, but not everyone! I like that blogging gives you another network of people to share and relate to, especially with issues that may be hard to discuss with family.

  3. Farin, Thanks for your honesty! I enjoyed reading your post. I am a new blogger, so most of my acquaintances don't know about my blog yet. My close friends do, and even they are finding out things about me that they didn't know before! It has its pros and cons. But all in all, my relationships even with those close friends seem to be deepening as they get to know me on a deeper level. Keep up the sharing! God bless! And I'll be praying for you as you move towards conceiving, carrying, and birthing a child. I know God will give you the desires of your heart.

    1. When I look back at this blog and see that it'll be 2 years old in July, I wonder where the time went. It's not something I imagined grand things for, but since I put so much effort into the writing and design and content, I'm starting see feel that it should be known. But, it's hard sometimes to step out of our comfort zone :) Give it time, I saved your site and will definitely be stopping by as a new reader :)

      And thank you for the prayers :)

  4. I struggled with miscarriages and infertility for many years so I understand your pain. I admire you for writing about it because not only is it cathartic for you, but you are touching other people who maybe don't have anyone in their lives who can relate.

    1. It's become so obvious that this is something that so many people go through, but that no one knows or talks about. I love hearing that I'm not alone (selfish, right?) but also knowing that this is a place where the awkward/hard conversations can be had.

  5. My heart goes out to you for the loss you've felt, and hope that you've felt love, hope, encouragement and happiness ten times as big as the pain. There's something so different about writing, especially blogging. You reach others who may have gone through the same things and help them heal and not feel alone, and that's beautiful.
    My mother is - at the moment - the only person that knows about my blog, and is incredibly supportive about it. I'm lucky. But I know that my friends and other family members won't understand, some may even judge, so I've kept it to myself so far. I kind of feel like they would judge me more than strangers would, is that weird?

    1. I have no clue why anyone would judge you're blog, it seems well put together (sometimes I feel all over the place here). And, to be honest, when you are doing it for awhile and it feels more 'established' the fear kind of dissipates. If I tell anyone that I blog now I can actually say I've done it for a few years. I can say that because it started in 2013 and it is now 2015, right? Gives me some confidence anyway :) Thanks for the kind words!

  6. I love your blog! And though we are blog "friends," I think it's neat reading about what you put out there. I can relate to not having everyone read the personal details about your life. Not everyone close to me knows about my blog either. It's definitely a place where I can write about my struggles with people who have affected my life. I like what you wrote today. I struggle with issues mainly with people in my own family tree ( in-laws included). So, that is why I haven't totally shared with all of them about what I've written. :) I don't know if they'll stumble upon it ever. But for now, I like that people I hardly know read it as they offer me the best encouragement. Keep up the great blog posts! You are an awesome writer!


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