Thursday, October 24, 2013

Jay-Z and my "You've Broken the Law" notice

I have really weird dreams (can't you just talk from that title?) And while I don't do any form of dream divination or secular fortune telling I do know that I get really worked up during the day and suffer for it at night.

This could I'd what goes on inside my head when left to run amok, when I'm asleep."This is what I imagine Tom has to endure. Poor Bizkit. Usually I don't wake so dramatically.




Part One
I've been kidnapped by Jay-Zs mobsters with a bunch of random people who I don't know (but seem friendly with). Isn't that always the case. We're poking around, wondering why his house isn't all that impressive, and he walks in. He's upset about something, but guess I didn't care because I just kept thinking that he should have at least 2 cars, considering he's such a big deal. Unimpressed.


Part Two

We're leaving Jay-Zs and apparently it ain't no thang, because we never met Beyonce or baby-Z, and we all just say bye.

Upon getting home, my mother -because I'm living with my mother again in my dreams?- told me that there's a letter from The Government. It's a 'You've broken The Law' notice, with a shot of me taken from a surveillance camera, throwing something in the garbage.

"You've been caught throwing recyclable material in the garbage can" it reported. "Also, your coworker expressed concern that while it was 'only a date stamper', it could prove to be a heartwarming souvenir, as all the employees quit in your department and were relocating".

When I arrived at work I got another copy of the same notice. And that the company was relocating all the workers, and I should go buy a date stamper for the girl who reported me to The Government.
I don't think that I did, as I woke up afterwards. And while I was in trouble for not recycling (but wouldn't that go in the trash?) she was willing to steal office supplies. Hm.


Where's did all this come from? 
I went to a work event yesterday and saw a Jay-Z look alike, but creepier and eyeing the candy I had placed out on my table. And then that evening, Tom scolded me about not recycling a piece of paper.

And it seems I fear for the future of the known world, considering it was 'the Government' versus the police.

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