Friday, February 13, 2015

When it's Not My Turn

When is it my turn?
How selfish of me, to immediately think the above when I saw that today's topic is "when".
As if I am lacking in the important things (food, warmth, family, shelter, employment, and of course my salvation). I have everything I need, and plenty that I do not. But still, I want more. I want to have children. I want to feel healthy and not often have migraines, colds, aches. I want to have a successful blog, with minimal work. I want to to be a great entrepreneur, or even to have any idea where I fit in this category. I want to get a foot into many doors that I haven't even knocked on.

Or, maybe I have knocked. Even so, when the door isn't immediately opened I get upset, frustrated and begin doubting myself. But.. God. He commands us to not worry and be content with our position in life. They say that you are the company you keep, and I'd have to say that since living in New York that I do feel the pressure and the constant 'go' of society pulling me forward. It's almost like a string tied around my waist, pulling me too fast towards the things that the world thinks I should desire. I would love to cut the string.

I would love to be the woman who is content with what she has, and I remember once being that woman, back when I didn't have so much. It's sad how sin-filled we are that the more we have the more we want. God, bring me back to the place of contentment. To enjoy the cup of tea and crisp mornings. To still gather joy from the simple ability to travel, to visit family and to see my mother this weekend. To spend time with her and not have 10 other things in my head threatening to distract me.
I do see the 'peace that passes understanding' when times get hard. I lean on Him, and know that even if this world were pass away, I'm going to a far better place. If I get sick or lose my job, there is a greater good that this is serving, in glorifying God in some way. Yet when times aren't all that hard I lean less on him and more on my own ambitions. I pray that I can leave it all at Jesus' feet and remember the joy in being content with the here and now.

So tell me...
Do you ever feel like you're losing contentment?
Do you live in a large city or in the country, how do you feel it influences you?


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12 comments:

  1. Hey Farin! I live in Ft Lauderdale. Large city. Lots to do. Lots to distract me. I do believe contentment is more difficult when there are more choices. Don't despair. You are not alone. I too have trouble being content with what I have. It's a daily battle. A daily prayer to stay focused on what's in front of me, no matter how little I think it may be. Like you said, But God. Happy FMF!

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    1. One of the reasons I miss the country most. I've changed so much for the better since moving here, but I am much more easily distracted and stressed as well. Of course, that could also be "responsibility" and "growing up"... if those things really exist. :-) Thanks for the encouragement!

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  2. Hi, Farin. I live in a small town in Texas. Life in Texas tends to not be quite as fast-paced away from the major cities, and even they seem to be slower paced that New York or Chicago or LA. Now is the time for you to start controlling how much life pulls you in whatever direction. If you do this now, you will find that as life goes on you will remain more content. Just my opinion. It works for me.

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    1. So much time is spent rushing to work, rushing to keep people happy, and rushing home..... so I can relax. Mornings are the best because even though I work from home in the mornings, I can do things at my own pace. I was born on a farm, so it sometimes feels like I wasn't raised to live like this.

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  3. Do you ever feel like you're losing contentment? Sometimes I feel like I have never found it. Always seeking Always striving.. greener grass... the circle continues. Great post

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    1. Thanks for the candid reply, and the grass is always greener thing is something I bet everyone struggles with.

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  4. I totally feel you and I think this is something everyone struggles with! I beat myself for not being content with what I already have but it's so hard not to compare myself with others and want what they have. I think practicing gratitude is important but easier said than done.

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    1. Much easier said than done, after all the "grass is always greener" slogan didn't appear from nothing :)

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  5. I can completely relate to this post. As someone who is working so hard to make something of myself in more than one industry, I definitely struggle with wanting more and wanting it now. But I know deep down that things happen when and if they're meant to. It's just hard to understand sometimes when you want something so bad and you're wishing for a sign that you're doing the right thing. Hang in there.

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    1. Thanks, and while I'm not in your boat I can only imagine the measures you're taking to succeed. Good luck in everything, and in contentment!

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  6. Farin, I have lived in small towns most of my life.
    Even when I lived in Tampa, it was smaller then.
    I think my family feels the tug of the world more.
    Since we're not that far from ATL they love going there for fun.
    The worst thing, our small town is presently building more roads.
    Making room as ATL moves closer into our space.
    People here are wanting bigger and better things.
    It's all about being content with what you already have.

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    1. We were recently there for the G3 conference in Douglasville, and the idea of Atlanta being so close to it's nearby suburbs was hard to grasp. My husband is incredibly anti-suburb for that reason. He either wants to live in the city or the countryside, and avoid the communities and developments. And I understand the concern with the world pulling us in, especially those with children (whatever the ages). Hope you have a pleasant rest of the day :)

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